First steps can be incredibly tough.
Whether it’s bungee jumping, a blind date, or a dentist’s appointment – there are plenty of things you can say to talk yourself out of things. Your comfort zone voice is persuasive. It sounds reasonable. And it specializes in making excuses sound logical.
Taking a dance lesson is no different.
There are plenty of reasons to learn how to dance, but unfortunately, it only takes one phrase to cancel them all out. Here’s what those phrases sound like – and why they shouldn’t stop you.
Potential Dancers Disappear When They Say These 9 Things
1. “I’m Too Busy”
The Story Behind It: Life will constantly be there, and that will usually leave you with no available time for yourself. Since dance lessons isn’t a regular part of your life yet, they are much more difficult to justify making time for.
Why It Shouldn’t Matter: The reason why you need to take dance lessons is probably because your life is really hectic. Busy people need stress relief and physical activity more than anyone else. In fact, the busiest students we have are often the most consistent – because they’ve learned that self-care isn’t optional.
Bottom Line: Trust your instincts. Part of you scheduled that lesson for a reason. That part of you knew something your excuses are trying to make you forget.
2. “I Don’t Have a Dance Partner”
The Story Behind It: Many would-be Arthur Murray students put off their dance lessons because they don’t have a partner to dance with. They assume dancing requires a committed partner from day one.
Why It Shouldn’t Matter: You don’t need a partner to learn how to become a ballroom and latin dancer. In fact, you learn faster, get better health and physical benefits, and stay on track when you work one on one with an Arthur Murray professional. The partner thing is a myth that’s kept countless people from starting.
Bottom Line: Need some more ideas to overcome this one? Check out this article: Do You Need A Partner To Learn Ballroom Dancing?
3. “Everyone Will Watch Me”
The Story Behind It: Whenever you’re new, in any environment, it’s normal to feel like everyone is watching you. It doesn’t matter if it’s going to the gym, or taking a dance lesson. The spotlight effect is real – but it’s also wrong.
Why It Shouldn’t Matter: The truth is, the only person who is going to be watching you is your teacher. All the other students will be wrapped up in their own dance lessons. They’re thinking about their footwork, not yours.
Bottom Line: Believe it or not, after a few weeks, you’ll be upset if people aren’t watching you dance. That’s the transformation that happens.
4. “I’m Not Ready”
The Story Behind It: One common mistake people make is thinking that they need some sort of dance experience before they even come in for their first dance lesson. Like you need to prepare for the preparation.
Why It Shouldn’t Matter: Nothing could be further from the truth. If you needed dance experience to have a dance lesson, then Arthur Murray would have shut down in 1913. The whole point is to start where you are.
Bottom Line: Not feeling ready is just a combination of nerves and excitement. That’s not a bug – it’s a feature. All of that changes once you’ve had your first complimentary dance lesson.
5. “I Don’t Know What to Expect”
The Story Behind It: There are plenty of misconceptions of what it will be like to actually walk in and learn how to dance. People have conjured up everything from cigarette smoking Russian ballet teacher-types, to dancing shirtless (a la Dancing With The Stars).
Why It Shouldn’t Matter: Keep your shirt on. The backbone of the Arthur Murray method is to make learning how to dance fun, quick, and easy. Non-dancers are in perfect hands. That’s literally who the system was designed for.
Bottom Line: For more ideas on what to expect on your first lesson, we recommend: 6 Myths About Dance Classes
6. “I Will Embarrass Myself”
The Truth Behind It: Unfortunately, it’s very common for people to eliminate the idea of taking a dance lesson, for fear of being difficult to teach, or funny to look at. Your comfort zone voice has convinced you that the only possible outcome is humiliation.
Why It Shouldn’t Matter: Kathryn Murray once said, “The hardest step you’ll ever take is the first one through the door.” No one walks in for the first time dancing like they do on TV. In fact, if you did, you wouldn’t need lessons.
Bottom Line: For more ideas about how new dancers make progress, check out: Dance Progress Explained: The Arthur Murray Curve of Learning
7. “My Partner is Better Than Me”
The Truth Behind It: Many potential Arthur Murray dancers see themselves as a hopeless case because their significant other took some dance classes in the past. They’ve already decided they’re the weak link.
Why It Shouldn’t Matter: Partner dancing has two distinct roles – leader and follower. The leader is the offense, the follower is the defense. Leaders learn to move with clarity, followers learn to respond with sensitivity. It is impossible for your partner to be better than you are, unless your partner is planning on dancing your role.
Bottom Line: Need some more ammunition for this subject? We recommend: 7 Things Your Dance Partner Needs To Hear You Say
8. “I Have Two Left Feet”
The Story Behind It: Potential dance students commonly fall victim to this age-old assessment. In many ways, it suggests that they weren’t born with the ability to learn how to dance. It’s genetic. It’s permanent. Case closed.
Why It Shouldn’t Matter: “Two left feet” is just a non-dancer’s way of saying that they aren’t comfortable on the dance floor. The reality is that no one is comfortable when they begin any hobby, dancing or basket-weaving. Discomfort is the price of admission for anything new.
Bottom Line: For more on having two left feet, check out this popular blog post: For Everyone With Two Left Feet: A Poem
9. “People Like Me Don’t Need Dance Lessons”
The Truth Behind It: There are plenty of people that are perfectly happy with the social skills they currently possess, and don’t really see any practical need for learning to dance. They’ve survived this long without it.
Why It Shouldn’t Matter: Anyone with half an ego will rationalize why they don’t need something that they can’t already do. That’s just defense mechanism 101. But here’s a different way to look at it: Treat learning how to dance like the stock market. When all your friends are investing in commodities like beer and small talk, you can set yourself apart by investing in dance futures.
Bottom Line: Need some more convincing on this one? Try these:
5 Reasons Why Guys Should Learn How To Dance
5 Reasons Why Women Should Learn How To Dance
The Real Question
Here’s what all of these phrases have in common: They’re future tense. They’re about something that hasn’t happened yet.
“I will embarrass myself.” “Everyone will watch me.” “I’m not ready yet.”
Your comfort zone voice has convinced you that it can predict the future. It can’t. It’s just afraid of the unknown – which is exactly what makes starting something new feel so difficult.
The dancers who actually show up? They had the same phrases running through their heads. The difference is they showed up anyway.
Final Thought
Every phrase on this list is a door you’re closing before you’ve seen what’s on the other side. Your comfort zone voice wants you to stay exactly where you are – comfortable, unchallenged, and unchanged.
But you scheduled that first lesson for a reason. Something in you wants more than comfort. Something in you is curious about who you could become.
That’s the voice worth listening to.
Are you ready to give dancing a try? Whether you’re wanting to learn with someone special or just for yourself, you can start with a free private lesson to see why Arthur Murray has been the leader in ballroom dance instruction since 1912.
