Why the skeptics are wrong, and why their advice shouldn’t stop you from learning to dance.
Sometimes we can get advice from the wrong people.
Sure, these same people may be wizards when it comes to Engineering, Fantasy Football, or building a shed. But that expertise doesn’t necessarily extend to learning how to dance.
It’s safe to say that guys who can’t dance will probably have some negative things to say about your new hobby. Their skepticism usually comes from their own insecurities rather than actual knowledge about ballroom dancing. Here are some examples of what they say—and why their advice shouldn’t stop you.
The 10 Excuses Guys Who Can’t Dance Will Give You
1. The Busy Gamer
“You’ve got way too much stuff to do, like online gaming.”
The reality: You make time for things that are important to you. If there’s nothing wrong with a little late night first-person gaming, then there’s nothing wrong with improving your social dancing game either. In fact, learning to dance often becomes a hobby that gets you out of the house, meeting real people, and building genuine connections—something gaming can’t replicate.
The truth: Successful people manage their time for multiple interests. Many Arthur Murray students balance demanding careers, family life, and hobbies while still making progress on the dance floor.
2. The Wedding Crasher
“The funky chicken has never let you down before.”
The reality: There’s a big difference between what you can do on the dance floor, and what you should do. Weddings, reunions, and office parties are equal parts opportunity and risk—taking the time to make a positive impression will have lasting dividends.
The truth: People remember the guy who could actually lead a dance. They also remember (and avoid) the guy who made everyone uncomfortable with his “signature moves.”
3. The Bar Hound
“While everyone is busy ‘ballrooming’ you can get a great spot at the bar. Score!”
The reality: People have been standing at bars for years with very little to show for it other than a higher-than-usual alcohol budget. Meanwhile, dancers are meeting people, having conversations, and creating memorable moments.
The truth: The bar will always be there. The opportunity to dance with someone interesting might not be.
4. The Bad Detective
“Last time I checked, you’re not a grandpa.”
The reality: People of all ages—from kids, teens, and young professionals to adults and retirees—have found benefits in ballroom dance lessons. The average age of students at most Arthur Murray studios might surprise you.
The truth: This stereotype comes from people who’ve never walked into a modern dance studio. You’ll find a diverse crowd of every age, background, and profession.
5. The Wrong Priorities Guy
“Why spend money on dance lessons when you can just buy more cologne?”
The reality: Cologne is great, but it’s not exactly a social superpower. Dancing absolutely upgrades your position in the grand social hierarchy, and unless this is the Old West in the 1800s, more Old Spice won’t do much to make you stand out.
The truth: Confidence, skills, and the ability to make others feel comfortable are far more attractive qualities than any fragrance. Dancing develops all three. For more on this topic, check out 10 Ways Digital Dance Lessons Make You Better.
6. The Wrong Kind of Confidence Guy
“Point me to the keg and I’ll be a dancer in 15 minutes.”
The reality: The best thing about drunken dancing is that you are numb to what it looks like. Those around you, unfortunately, are not. “Liquid courage” leads to sloppy movement, poor leading, and the kind of dance floor moments that end up on social media for all the wrong reasons.
The truth: Real confidence on the dance floor comes from knowing what you’re doing, not from lowered inhibitions.
7. The Historically Single Guy
“Girls would rather dance by themselves, or with their friends, than with a guy. Trust me, I’m an expert.”
The reality: You wouldn’t want a felon as your accountant, and you probably don’t want this guy giving you dating/dancing advice. His track record speaks for itself.
The truth: Women consistently express that they wish more men knew how to dance properly. A guy who can confidently lead on the dance floor stands out immediately.
8. The 12-Year-Old Adult
“I just like to watch and make fun of people.”
The reality: This is code for “I’m afraid of expanding my comfort zone” and “I’m more comfortable criticizing than trying.” Making fun of dancers from the sidelines is a defense mechanism.
The truth: The people actually dancing are having more fun, meeting more people, and building skills that last a lifetime. The critics remain on the sidelines.
9. Mr. Ignorant
“Because dance-losers like Gene Kelly, John Travolta, and Patrick Swayze never got any chicks.”
The reality: All of these actors were exceptional at what they did, but just ask any of their fans what dancing did for their appeal and careers. Dancing made them icons.
The truth: Throughout history, men who could dance have been celebrated, admired, and yes—incredibly successful with romantic interests.
10. The Idiot
“Dancing is for sissy weirdos.”
The reality: As a guy, it’s much easier to make fun of something than to try it out. This comment reveals more about the speaker’s insecurities than about dancing itself.
The truth: Dancing requires athleticism, coordination, musicality, and the confidence to take risks. There’s nothing “sissy” about developing these qualities.
Why This Advice Is Worth Ignoring
When something is new or different, there’s a natural tinge of fear involved. Whether it’s a new clothing trend, a dietary change, or a new hobby—it’s normal to pump the brakes on something you’re still evaluating.
Even dancing.
Regardless of the positive byproducts of dance lessons—improved fitness, better social skills, increased confidence, and an expanded social circle—it’s still new, different, and potentially uncomfortable for those in your inner circle. Their skepticism often masks their own fear of trying something outside their comfort zone.
How to Handle the Critics
Option 1: Invite them in. Making dancing less weird for your skeptical friends could be as simple as inviting them to a lesson or letting them see your progress firsthand.
Option 2: Lead by example. Sometimes the best response is simply becoming a good dancer. Results speak louder than arguments.
Option 3: Understand the source. Not everyone can be as bold as you in pursuing personal growth. Your willingness to try something new puts you ahead of those content to stay comfortable.
The Benefits They’re Missing
Men who learn to dance often report:
- Increased confidence in all social situations
- Better posture and body awareness
- A unique skill that sets them apart
- Improved coordination and fitness
- A growing social network of interesting people
- The satisfaction of mastering something challenging
Final Thought
The friends, coworkers, or family members offering unsolicited advice about your decision to dance are probably doing so from a place of unfamiliarity. They don’t understand what they haven’t experienced.
Your job isn’t to convince them. It’s to enjoy the journey, develop the skills, and eventually show them what they’ve been missing. For a more detailed look at the common excuses you’ll hear, read about 10 things guys who can’t dance say about dancing.
Ready to prove the skeptics wrong? Find an Arthur Murray studio near you and take the first step toward becoming the dancer your critics wish they could be.
