Let’s face the facts… you are becoming a big deal.  Your dance skill and confidence has developed to a point that things like Practice Parties, and other Social Dance venues, are becoming a regular part of your dancing ecosystem. You’re moving up the ranks, moving up the dancing food chain, and that means you’re going to see your dance invitation inbox start to fill up. Here’s how to deal with your fame, how to handle the invites, and what to do with an unwanted dance invitation.

How To Politely Decline a Dance Invitation

Why You Should Read This Article: 

There are going to be moments where you don’t feel like dancing.  It’s normal.  Whether it is based on your own fatigue, dance preference, or schedule, or perhaps something specific about your would-be partner – there will be times when you need to decline.

Saying No is easy, but what’s the ultimate cost?

In this article, we explore how to deliver this unwanted news in a way that won’t make anyone feel like an unwanted part of your dance studio.

Layer One:  The Truth

If the pen is mightier than the sword, then it only validates another phrase: “the truth cuts deep”. Sure, you can say, “No, absolutely not, you’ve got bad breath, a weird dance frame, and it smells like you’ve been sleeping in that shirt for a week.” But that, by itself, could be a bit of a bummer to anyone on the receiving end… regardless of how true it might be. You could also say, “I’m holding out for someone who is a little more advanced” “I’m really more of a Bachata dancer than a Zouk dancer” “We just danced a few minutes ago and now it feels like you’re stalking me.” All bummers. So what’s the solution? Well, this isn’t an article to sing the praises of lying to would-be dance partners, but that doesn’t mean we can’t utilize additional ingredients to ensure that the information doesn’t come across the wrong way.  Just like concentrated lemonade, by itself it is tough to consume, but adding water can keep it from ruining your taste for the drink.

Layer Two:  Human Context

The content of your declined offer will always skew to the negative without context.  Offering a simple reason why, and adding a touch of human-ness only makes it easier to relate to and accept. Try adding: “I really appreciate you asking, but I’m wiped out from dancing all night.” “I’m going to sit this one out while my feet recover.” “Sorry, Bachata just isn’t my thing.” If the truth is your headline, then Human Context is the sub-header.  It’s just enough information to relate to the person on the other end, but without a long, drawn out conversation.

Final Layer:  Provide an Alternative

There’s a chance that you are tired, thirsty, or not too keen on the music the DJ is playing.  Whatever the reason, who says an ill-timed invitation needs to be a permanent decision?  Instead, why not offer some type of alternative? “Come get me when they play a Waltz.” “Give me a minute to soak my feet in this Epsom Salt.” “Save me the first dance at the next party.”

Keep This One Thing in Mind

At some point, someone took a chance on you as a dance partner.  Back when you were so new you debated that first practice party, when any dance material outside your level rattled you, and you wondered if anyone would ever ask you to dance. Then someone did… and then another… and another. Not only did someone see you as a fun dance partner, they also saw a little of themselves in your demeanor.  They recognized that shy dancer.  After all, they were like that once too. They decided to pay it forward.  They made the choice to green light a dance with you.  To accrue some more dance karma, and to help you get your start as a comfortable social dancer. You could do the same. This is not a lifetime partnership contract.  This is not an admission of attraction off of the dance floor.  This is a commitment, somewhere between 2-4 minutes in length, that you will be the best version on your side of the dance frame as possible.

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